Close your eyes and point to any reputable sex research and you’ll find irrefutable evidence that the majority of women want more foreplay.
But they aren’t the only ones.
One recent US study found not only do men and women pretty much agree on the amount of foreplay they want, when men have extended foreplay they have fewer sex problems.
So get to it – both of you! Here’s some easy but inventive new ways to impress.
Write a menu of services you’re offering with a description of what each service entails and how much it costs.
Get your partner to do the same and both run a sex tab, settling your bills with services.
Add some fizz
Open a bottle of bubbly, make sure your glass is full and close by then take a mouthful before encasing him in your mouth.
It feels great his end – the bubbles fizz pleasantly – and it’s all very celebratory.
Your scrunchie just got sexy
If he’s circumcised, fake the foreskin feeling by masturbating him using your silky hair scrunchie, your (pre-worn) silk panties or a stocking.
Wrap it around the base of his penis and roll it up and down.
A strand of pearls (check there aren’t any rough edges and smooth with an emery board if there are) also works well.
Add a wig
There’s a reason why theme parties are so popular (if a pain in the you know where because they require effort): reinventing yourself is damn good fun. And it’s sexy.
If you’ve got the time and inclination, by all means go all the way with a sexy new persona.
If not, adding a wig completely changes your personality and look, making you feel different – and them feel like they’re sleeping with someone completely new.
Play in public
I don’t mean launch into a huge tongue kissing session on the tube (yuk!) but you can get away with murder if you’re discreet.
Angle yourselves cleverly so your faces are turned. He can suck your finger to show what he’d like you to do elsewhere later; you can do the same by licking his palm.
The most mundane touch becomes wildly exciting when it’s done in public.
Nothing turns us on more than our bodies being admired.
Straddle your partner and let your eyes trail your fingertips as you stroke their entire body, your touches becoming less restrained when you (finally) get to the good bits.
Nothing sexier than watching someone’s eyes change as lust rudely elbows desire out of the way – let them see this happen.
Add eye contact and tell them to watch you.
Most people close their eyes when having sex: opening them makes everything more erotic and more personal.
While you’re at it, add a moan as well.
Not everyone likes a noisy lover but a moan here and there is an undeniable turn on.
Undress them, stay dressed yourself
It’s all about doing what’s not the norm.
One of you completely naked and the other completely dressed makes for an unusual scenario and interesting power dynamic.
Explore new areas
His stomach is packed with pleasure points – particularly from his belly-button down to the pubic bone. Follow that lovely trail of hair downwards, stroking lightly with fingertips or tongue.
Less appealing bits of our bodies often feel great when stimulated by our partner, largely because they’re not used to being explored.
Sucking toes and giving a foot massage shows you find all of each other sexy – plus reflexologists say our sex drives are directly linked to a pressure point on the inside of the foot below the anklebone.
Do yourself while you’re doing them
It sends a powerful message: I’m so excited making you aroused, it’s turning me on big time.
Double the stimulation
Pinch nipples with a free hand, stroke necks or breasts or use the side of your hand and press it, quite hard, in between his legs on the perineum to indirectly stimulate his prostate/G-spot.
Take your time
The longer the build-up, the better the orgasm so don’t feel you have to finish everything you start.
Give them oral sex, switch to intercourse for a few minutes, then switch back.
Appeal to their narcissistic side
Get them to stand in front of a full-length mirror.
You come in, stand behind, and seduce them in front of it.
Play with their nipples, kiss their neck, run your hands over their body, remove their clothes, and yours, before pushing and rubbing yourself naked against their back.
At no point are they allowed to turn around or touch you back.
Finally bring them to orgasm by reaching around to deliver a hand-job they can watch.
THE NINE MOST COMMON FOREPLAY MISTAKES
Following the same format, every single time.
One minute of kissing, two minutes of breast fondling, a bit of fiddling around with the bottom half and then straight to intercourse.
Alarmingly, this is exactly what a lot of couples do. Every. Single. Time.
Then complain they’re bored.
Going straight for the good bits
Some people don’t even pretend to indulge in foreplay – worse if you’re a man making love to a woman (foreplay is a necessity not a luxury) but just as bad if you dive straight for his penis.
Pouncing on each other is great if you’re overcome by lust and it’s a quickie: not so appealing when that’s all you do.
Being too rough or too gentle
Women complain men are too rough, men complain women are too gentle.
This is because women prefer a softer touch because our skin is thinner and more sensitive, and men prefer a firmer touch for the opposite reason.
Having scratchy nails or jewellery
Uneven nails don’t look attractive and feel even worse; remove any jewellery that isn’t smooth and flat please.
Not listening to feedback
If your partner says they do or don’t like something or asks you to alter a technique, listen.
Really listen so next time you do it just as they like it. It shows their pleasure is important to you.
Not using lube or saliva
Doing things ‘dry’ not only feels awful, it irritates and sometimes really hurts!
Not asking for direction
If you’re worried you’ll sound clueless, say ‘Show me where it feels good for you’ rather than ‘Show me what you like’.
It sounds sexier and suggests you know exactly what you’re doing just want to make sure you know what works for them individually.
Chopping and changing techniques at crucial moments
Most people have a guaranteed-to-get-me-there technique.
The time to find out what this is, is at the beginning; once you know, settle into a rhythm.
Change techniques at a crucial moment and you risk ruining their orgasm.
You don’t have to do each other in the same session but it should even up over time.