After a while you really stop caring about morning breath.
1. The Minimum-Effort Quickie
For when you’re both exhausted, but you wanna come before you go to sleep. An essential skill for any long-term couple.
2. The We Haven’t Done It In A While
For when you’ve both been really busy at work and you want to remember that you’re not just roommates saving money by sharing a bed.
3. The Probably Too Drunk To Have Sex
For when you’ve had too much wine to know better and will probably end up elbowing each other in the eye.
4. The Eaten Too Much But Let’s Do It Anyway
For when you’ve known each other long enough that it’s not a disaster if one of you farts.
5. The Regrettable Experiment
For when you have to think up an inventive story at the osteopath.
6. The Extremely Quiet Sex At Your Parents’ House
For when Christmas Eve is just so romantic even if you are on the sofa bed at grandma’s.
7. The Really Bad Morning Breath But You Don’t Care Any More
For when you think sex might be the cure for your hangover.
8. The Stupid Argument Makeup Sex
For when you were really just hungry when you said that thing.
9. The Middle-Of-The-Afternoon Surprise Sex
For when there’s nothing good on TV.