Now that we have grown up we realize that every relationship hits a lull at one point or another. It’s only the most natural thing and if that makes you worried then that’s absolutely normal too. No matter how much we feel for our spouses, boyfriends or life partners sooner or later our routine consumes us. Keeping passion alive takes hard work and commitment. If you are feeling that things aren’t how they ‘used to be’ then follow these simple suggestions and bring passion back into your love life and love making.
If you can’t remember the last time you had sex or the last time you really enjoyed sex then there is a problem which needs to be addressed. More than often what bothers a partner the most is that their significant other does not address the issue because they believe there isn’t even an issue to begin with. Realization is the first step.
There is a reason that relationships wither when honest communication doesn’t happen. Talk to your partner about what bothers you without making it sound like a complaint or a blame-game. Show them that you are genuinely worried and they will take you seriously, if they take the relationship seriously. In the same way, should your partner approach you with something like this hear them out patiently and do not go on the defensive.
Remember, you are both on the same side.
The little gestures matter as much as the big ones. Drop a text message every now and then when your partner least expects it even if it is just a ‘Hello, how are you doing’ or tell them that you miss them and can’t wait to see them again. Do it just because.
Don’t just tell them that you love them. Show it to them. Have romantic date nights and romantic weekend trips, hikes and getaways. Schedule and plan to spend time together if you have to. It is important to have a romantic relationship and be in ‘love’ for things to remain passionate between the sheets.
More often than not, most couples have a few favorite things they like to do in the bedroom (or elsewhere, we are not judging). To re-ignite passion, try something new, adventurous and a little daring. Take a shower together or have a weekend getaway to a cabin and not really go out (if you know what we mean). Switch between naughty and nice and recreate and re-stimulate as you go along. Remember that you are doing this for your partner and sexual life and there is nothing to be ashamed of.
Believe it or not, sex doesn’t just happen. When you have been together for some time, sex requires some thought and effort to make it exciting and to keep things fresh. Ask your partner for his fantasies and as long as you are comfortable, play them out for him. Ask him to act on yours and you will love the crazy roller coaster ride your sex life will become.
Wanting to have sex is ruled by a lot of things. If you are tired or stressed you will not be in the mood and same goes for your partner. But a little sexy persuasion might change your and their mind. Start off slowly and spend some time just touching, kissing and lying together. Once desire starts to steam up, take things up a notch. Remember, it doesn’t just happen, you have to make it happen.
Routine is not an excuse and neither are jobs and kids. Just because you are adults and have pressing routines, work related stress or kids to tend to doesn’t mean you have the liberty to neglect the most important part of your adult life: sex with your SO. Make time and space for yourself and him.
Hire a sitter for the kids or ask a friend or relative to help out. Event taking some alone time together once a month can work wonders for your sexual life.